Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Infallibility of Motherly Love is a Myth

First of all, I got the job. I'm in my third week.

My husband shared a discovery with me a few days ago. He had come across an article about women in the U.S. on death row. What really surprised him was that half of the women were on death row for killing a family member and of those women, many had killed their children. He was trying to reconcile that fact with all the sayings we always hear about a mother's love, how nothing can compare to it, etc.

I told him I believed it was all a myth. Of course some mothers love their children more than anything else and will do anything for them. But there are also plenty of mothers who obviously don't. The proof of this can range from the world-wide phenomena of dumpster babies and infanticide to women who live with their children but literally have no love to give them. It's obvious that there is nothing about giving birth that inherently makes a mother love her child. And yet the myth lives on.

On a related note, I now believe that the worst thing a human being can do is bring a child into the world that they don't plan to take care of. I believe this because unless that child is very, very lucky (another family member decides to become their guardian or they are adopted by a loving family) they will quickly see the absolute worst of human nature. Because the truth is the only people who are even sorta, kinda, almost obligated to care about a person is that person's family. The rest of humanity could not give one-hundredth of a damn about that person. Even if that person is a defenseless child.

Ignore what people say about children being the future or the importance of helping each child reach their potential. Ignore how much they say they love Jesus who was pretty clear about the importance of caring for those in need. There is very little action amongst most people to back up those sayings. And this holds true no matter where you are in the world. From the high rates of abuse of foster children in Western countries (where they are at least usually kept clean, dry and fed) to the complete and utter abandonment of many of these children in non-Western countries where they are usually ignored or used for all kinds of unseemly activities that that I don't even want to mention on this blog. Contrast this with the many people in both Western and non-Western countries who spend unbelieveable amounts of time and  money on their children. Some examples that I know of personally include my friend from this post and my husband. My husband recently told me about his colleague who spends $1100 per month so that his TWO YEAR OLD son can attend a trilingual language (English, Spanish and Chinese) immersion academy which also has a focus on STEM and robotics.

I'm not really sure how to conclude this so I guess I'll just make a list.
1. Don't have kids

2. If you're going to have kids know that it's completely up to you to take care of them and prepare them for the crazy world you have brought them into. No one else will.

3. If you are or become pregnant and fear that you are in any way, shape, or form not ready to become a mother, terminate the pregnancy. Don't listen to the people who call abortion murder. Many of these people will not break a nail to help a child in need. They shamelessly drive around with bumper stickers that say "Proud Soldier" or "Proud Son/Mother/Wife, etc. of a  Marine." These are obviously not people that value human life. As for adoption, know that for the vast majority of people, adoption is the absolute lowest, bottom-of-the-barrel way to create a family. Also, I believe that as IVF becomes more successful and less expensive adoption rates will decrease and eventually cease all together. As it is now, there are plenty of other reproductive technologies for people who can't have biological children but would still prefer to avoid traditional adoption: sperm/egg donation, embryo adoption, etc.