I live amongst zombies. Every and anything is acceptable to them. They even praise God for all of it.
I really don't fit in here.
It's becoming increasingly apparent that I need to find some kind of meaning in my work in order to have some peace.
I must develop self-discipline so I can successfully run my own business. I understand that there's nothing particularly virtuous about things like hard work, networking, gaining skills, or self-discipline but I need these skills to even have a hope of escaping the life of a wage slave. In particular, the life of a low-paid wage slave. Working these types of jobs is killing me. I can't believe that I am paid barely livable wages in order to make another human being INSANELY rich. And the fact that I need a job in order to survive in this current economic set-up still doesn't change the fact that it is exploitation. The fact that this is what all employment (especially low-paid employment) is does not seem to bother most people but then again I'm not most people.
I'm not most people.
I'm not most people.
And that's okay. It doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else. I need to embrace my unique perspective of the world and find a way to thrive while I am here.
I've been saying this forever but I really do need to lead a more active life.
On a completely unrelated note, I recently reactivated my fb in order to invite certain people to my wedding and I was quickly reminded of why I quit. As soon as my wedding is over I'm deactivating again and even before then I am going to do my best to only spend a small amount of time on there. In the small time that I've reactivated, I've started comparing my life to that of others and feeling unpopular. Isn't funny how small a certain website can make you feel?
I'm looking forward to deactivating again and only knowing intimate details of my friends' lives.
Which reminds me that I need to cut down on my blog reading too.
Showing posts with label intentional busyness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intentional busyness. Show all posts
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Ideas, ideas and a new job
So as usual, I have a bunch of ideas floating around in my head.
I will be starting another blog soon and just spent the last hour researching good, affordable tripods for tall folks. I plan to do a lot of photography on my new blog. My husband already has a higher-end point and shoot camera that he never uses. It's bigger than the smaller point and shoots so I just assumed it was a DSLR. Shows how much I know about photography, lol. But everyone started somewhere and I'm so inspired by the young women I mentioned here. If they can do it, so can I. I don't want to give too many details about the blog but I expect it to be GOOD.
Also, I have a new job. It's nothing I'm too excited about but I think it's good for me to get out of the house. It's a cold calling, data center job but at least since the company has a tech focus, I am learning a lot about new technology.
This wasn't supposed to be a gratitude post but my few days of on-the-job training have made me grateful that working at a place like this isn't my only option in life and that I have a husband who makes enough to comfortably support both of us.
I've also been wearing makeup on a daily basis. I think I will start recording myself on my webcam just to see my regular mannerisms.
I will be starting another blog soon and just spent the last hour researching good, affordable tripods for tall folks. I plan to do a lot of photography on my new blog. My husband already has a higher-end point and shoot camera that he never uses. It's bigger than the smaller point and shoots so I just assumed it was a DSLR. Shows how much I know about photography, lol. But everyone started somewhere and I'm so inspired by the young women I mentioned here. If they can do it, so can I. I don't want to give too many details about the blog but I expect it to be GOOD.
Also, I have a new job. It's nothing I'm too excited about but I think it's good for me to get out of the house. It's a cold calling, data center job but at least since the company has a tech focus, I am learning a lot about new technology.
This wasn't supposed to be a gratitude post but my few days of on-the-job training have made me grateful that working at a place like this isn't my only option in life and that I have a husband who makes enough to comfortably support both of us.
I've also been wearing makeup on a daily basis. I think I will start recording myself on my webcam just to see my regular mannerisms.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Daily Gratitude 2
My last post was meant to be this one but then I had a moment of inspiration and went off-topic. So I will begin again. Today I am grateful for little indulgences like makeup. I bought these yesterday and and am so excited to start working with them. I already own a little makeup but I want to really begin to perfect my makeup skills and have various looks ready for various events (e.g. everyday, going out, etc.). I'm starting off with foundation and blush but eventually I want to be at home in the worlds of concealers, bronzers, and countouring. I already have some lip glosses and eye shadows to play around with.
I am also grateful that CVS will allow you return any makeup as long as you have the receipt! One thing that has made me hesitant about the whole makeup thing is wasting money on trying products that end up not looking good on me.
I am also grateful that CVS will allow you return any makeup as long as you have the receipt! One thing that has made me hesitant about the whole makeup thing is wasting money on trying products that end up not looking good on me.
Here are 2 everday makeup routine videos that have inspired me:
and
OUT THERE
As part of my new interest in intentional busyness and thinking about what type of image I would like to project to the world, I've began to explore the world of makeup. A nice chunk of my inspiration is from 2 lovely ladies from across the pond: Shirley B. Eniang and Britpopprincess (aka Patricia Bright). Their youtube channels are full of information on fashion (which is what originally drew me), makeup, and general life.
Although I don't think that's how they would describe themselves, I think they are great examples of what I call intentional busyness (however, the 'intentional' maybe a misnomer because I'm pretty sure they don't do it on purpose, they probably just naturally like to keep busy). Shirley is a Mathematics student and runs both a popular youtube channel and a blog. Patricia works a full time consulting job with long hours, runs 2 popular youtube channels, is a newlywed AND recently purchased a home. They both started their youtube channels for fun and as a way to connect with other people who were interested in fashion and makeup. Now they earn money from these hobbies and they receive free gifts from companies.
Although I will do my best not to idolize people I don't know, I feel like I have a lot to learn from them. They started something for fun but they did not stop there. Both of them (as well as the lady who runs the ridiculously popular Cupcakes and Cashmere blog) have said that they continuously worked on improving their photography/videography skills. So even though it started as a hobby, that did not stop them from wanting to get better at whatever they put their had in. This is a lesson I've heard over and over again but still need to internalize: always do your best.
Another thing that stood out to me was how willing these women were to put themselves OUT THERE. Out into the big, bad internet. They put their faces, information and general thoughts on the net where anyone could see it and without the ability to take any of it back. And it has paid off for them.
I'm so scared to do that. In fact, I've began to realize that I'm actually too scared to really do anything. I have an inherent fear of life. I watched a video a few days ago that spoke to me. The topic was perfectionism but the woman discussed it from a different angle. I have always thought of perfectionists as the overachievers and as such never thought it possible that I could be one. Even though there are some things that I have done really well, it is usually because it is in a subject that I have a natural knack for; I've never been the person who would stay up 3 extra hours just to make sure something was *just* right. The woman in the video discussed perfectionism as something that could stop a person from doing and trying things that were really important to them because they were afraid that the results wouldn't be 'good enough.' She described herself as a non-perfectionist and said that this attribute is what allows her to come on youtube and speak in English even though she knows that she is not completely fluent (although I must say that I find her English to be wonderful, I've been complimented a lot on my Spanish by native speakers and I know that it is nowhere as good as her English).
This is the mindset I need to have. Always focus on improving myself and my work and don't be so afraid to put myself OUT THERE. With so many people in the world competing for the same jobs, it is now more important than ever to have a recognizable name. With regards to a blog, I think a good compromise for me might be to start off my blog anonymously and then add my real name when it gains a lot of attention (and money).
Although I don't think that's how they would describe themselves, I think they are great examples of what I call intentional busyness (however, the 'intentional' maybe a misnomer because I'm pretty sure they don't do it on purpose, they probably just naturally like to keep busy). Shirley is a Mathematics student and runs both a popular youtube channel and a blog. Patricia works a full time consulting job with long hours, runs 2 popular youtube channels, is a newlywed AND recently purchased a home. They both started their youtube channels for fun and as a way to connect with other people who were interested in fashion and makeup. Now they earn money from these hobbies and they receive free gifts from companies.
Although I will do my best not to idolize people I don't know, I feel like I have a lot to learn from them. They started something for fun but they did not stop there. Both of them (as well as the lady who runs the ridiculously popular Cupcakes and Cashmere blog) have said that they continuously worked on improving their photography/videography skills. So even though it started as a hobby, that did not stop them from wanting to get better at whatever they put their had in. This is a lesson I've heard over and over again but still need to internalize: always do your best.
Another thing that stood out to me was how willing these women were to put themselves OUT THERE. Out into the big, bad internet. They put their faces, information and general thoughts on the net where anyone could see it and without the ability to take any of it back. And it has paid off for them.
I'm so scared to do that. In fact, I've began to realize that I'm actually too scared to really do anything. I have an inherent fear of life. I watched a video a few days ago that spoke to me. The topic was perfectionism but the woman discussed it from a different angle. I have always thought of perfectionists as the overachievers and as such never thought it possible that I could be one. Even though there are some things that I have done really well, it is usually because it is in a subject that I have a natural knack for; I've never been the person who would stay up 3 extra hours just to make sure something was *just* right. The woman in the video discussed perfectionism as something that could stop a person from doing and trying things that were really important to them because they were afraid that the results wouldn't be 'good enough.' She described herself as a non-perfectionist and said that this attribute is what allows her to come on youtube and speak in English even though she knows that she is not completely fluent (although I must say that I find her English to be wonderful, I've been complimented a lot on my Spanish by native speakers and I know that it is nowhere as good as her English).
This is the mindset I need to have. Always focus on improving myself and my work and don't be so afraid to put myself OUT THERE. With so many people in the world competing for the same jobs, it is now more important than ever to have a recognizable name. With regards to a blog, I think a good compromise for me might be to start off my blog anonymously and then add my real name when it gains a lot of attention (and money).
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Daily Gratitude 1
I've decided to use my new iPhone to start taking and posting photos of things I'm grateful for on a daily basis.I fear that claiming that I will take and post said photos everyday is setting myself up for failure so instead my goal is to post at least 5x/week.
I was inspired to do this by Consider Me Lovely's weekly Reasons to Smile posts. They always bring a smile to my face. And with that I think that I get better get started.
My first photo is of the view from my back porch. I am blessed to have a home to live in with a husband who is endlessly supportive of me. I love that the view from my porch is that of a stretch of woods. I might not but the biggest nature lover but just walking by these woods puts me in a better frame of mind.
I was inspired to do this by Consider Me Lovely's weekly Reasons to Smile posts. They always bring a smile to my face. And with that I think that I get better get started.
My first photo is of the view from my back porch. I am blessed to have a home to live in with a husband who is endlessly supportive of me. I love that the view from my porch is that of a stretch of woods. I might not but the biggest nature lover but just walking by these woods puts me in a better frame of mind.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Intentional Busyness
I have an agenda for this upcoming week.
I'm doing another blog-free week. I was able to complete one the week before last and I don't know if I was technically more productive but I did spend more time away from the computer. At least until towards the end when I spent a lot of time watching TV shows online.
Along with being blog-free I also plan to do the following on a daily basis:
I'm doing another blog-free week. I was able to complete one the week before last and I don't know if I was technically more productive but I did spend more time away from the computer. At least until towards the end when I spent a lot of time watching TV shows online.
Along with being blog-free I also plan to do the following on a daily basis:
- Exercise
- Meditate
- Continue to fix up our new apartment
- Pay a bill
- Continue applying to and following up with jobs
- Cook and clean
- Keep in touch with friends
- Make time to be outside when the weather allows
- Work on a creative project (maybe something like this; I love magazines and have thought about doing a zine for years!)
- Stop pulling on my hair
- Etc (I'll think of more stuff later)
The main objective is to keep busy so I don't think too much. I'm definitely a ponderer and while don't know if I will ever fundamentally change, I'll do my best to take steps in another direction.
Well I will let you know how it goes.
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