Transformation

I think I'm experiencing yet another transformation. My social justice period might finally be winding to a close. I'm starting to experience the same change I went through when I transitioned out of Christianity. At first I looked more deeply into Christianity attempting to find something that negated the obvious flaws, hypocrisy, and unfairness of the Bible and those who to adhere to it. Obviously, I didn't. Even from biblical teachers I personally trusted, I received a lot of emotionally-based explanations. The answers outside of those were either of the "you can't understand God's plan/ways/etc". or worse.

After a dip into the pool of militant atheism, I finally realized that people believe in God because they WANT to believe in God (well as much a person can want something when free will doesn't exist; but I will talk about that later). They believe in him past all manner of reason and sense. Their view of God is actually EXTREMELY SELFISH. It still freaks me out how people can go about worshipping a God that not only allows all matter of horrors and evils to happen in this world but (according to the majority of Christian denominations) is going to burn and torture the vast, vast majority of humans FOREVER (although I must add that not all denominations believe in the doctrine of hell. If I recall correctly, Jehovah's Witnesses and Seventh Day Adventists both believe that non-believers will simply be annihilated [both body and soul] on Judgment Day. There's also the concept of Christian Universalism). And they are okay with all of this as long as they get to have a personal relationship with God on earth and to live in heaven forever. In total, people are pretty much monsters and their monstrous beliefs lead to the world we have today.

What I am basically trying to say is that I am mistaken in trying to help people. From what I've observed, most people are okay and praise life no matter how bad their particular situation is. I am the one who can't just 'deal' no matter what situation I am in. If most people don't have minimum standards for their life (in terms of what they are willing to put up with) why should I try to force those upon them? I need to work on forming a life that meets my own particularly high standards. I will still probably always feel something for children who are unwanted and not prepared for the crazy and cruel world we live in, but I also need to remember that these poor kids will turn into adults who also have no minimum standards for their lives. They will become the adults who would rather be born into the most unfortunate situation than not be born at all.

Again, why should I try to force my (obviously very abnormal) standards on them?

Also, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that very few people actually care about justice in any real way. They only care when something unjust happens to them. They would be just as happy to ignore if it was happening to someone else and they will surely encourage it if they believe they will benefit in some way. The more I think about it, the more I realize that helping someone just gives them more opportunity to be an exploiter in this world.

And what's the point of that?

As I mentioned before, I don't really believe in the concept of free will so I can't really blame them for wanting to live no matter what. It's not really them wanting to live as much as it is their genes carrying them towards thoughtless reproduction.

I think this transformation will take longer than my social justice transformation but I believe it must occur because a social justice mindset just doesn't make any sense in this world.

I hope this post doesn't sound like I am turning into a hard-core republican. I'm not sure what I'm becoming, I just know I'm changing.