I realized recently why I often find it so hard to motivate myself: I don't have any real dreams.
That's not completely true. The real issue is that my biggest dream is an impossibility: to not exist. I'm not suicidal (I wouldn't have the balls to kill myself even if I was) I just don't want to be in this world. In my heart of hearts, I find this world absolutely abhorrent.
If I had to rate my dreams on a scale of 100 to 0 (100 being associated with my biggest dream), I would put not existing at 100 and the next biggest dream couldn't rate any higher than 50.
Hmm. Let me start over. I think I have one real dream (not existing) and a bunch of compromises. My compromises include making a decent income, (possibly) raising a decent family*, avoiding as much pain as I can, and not living for a long time.
My biggest compromise is setting up a good passive income. I need to start that this summer.
What about you, fellow pessimists? Do you have any dreams? Do you follow them or does the meaninglessness of it all get to you?
*I know, I know. I shouldn't. I just can't imagine what else I will do with the next 60+ years. We'll see; I haven't made any final decisions. Maybe I can just keep postponing it until the decision is made for me.