the challenge and gratitude: day 1

Today was a success! I almost didn't make it to the 3 hour mark but then I did! I also wrote in my gratitude journal and started my day with some kundalini yoga.

It wasn't a bad day.

How I spent my 3 hours:
I applied to 5+ jobs. I received an email from company I applied to before requesting a phone interview on Tuesday. I did some research on the company and their products to prepare. I did some general reading on business analysis. 

I also received a rejection email from another company but it's cool.

I'm quite ready for day 2!

via icanread

the challenge and gratitude

I'm going to use this blog for accountability. For the next month (until Saturday, February 9, 2013; wow! Still can't believe we're already in 2013! Even more motivation to really start getting things done in my life.) I will spend a set amount of time every day working on my  main goal: to get a good-paying job and then quit nursing school (it's just not for me).

the rules:

School days (starting from next week, Monday-Thursday): 1 hr/day applying for jobs and/or studying subjects that will make me more marketable career-wise.

• I think this is a fair amount of time for school days. Nursing school takes up so much time that I don't want to set an unattainable goal for myself and since I've been applying and getting some responses back I hope to have a job before this the end of this month.

Non-school days (Friday, weekends, any school holidays): 3 hrs/day applying for jobs and/or studying subjects that will make me more marketable career-wise.

I must blog about what I do or don't get done every day until I either reach my goal of gainful employment or until Saturday, February 9, 2013. 

This won't be easy but I know I can do it. I feel like I'm soooo close to reaching my employment goal but there's just this little 'hump' that I need to get over. To be honest, I've come pretty far and mostly due to the encouragement of my beloved. I didn't even think I would be able to get a job at all and just by putting my resume out there and writing a few cover letters I am already receiving call backs. I would like to have a received a job offer by now but that's truly okay. I know that good jobs don't come easy and great jobs even less so.

I'm looking forward to this and will see y'all tomorrow. I think I'll even add "writing in my gratitude journal daily" to this challenge.

I don't know why, but I'm always surprised by how good I feel about a fresh start. Especially when I put it in writing.

I wonder

is it possible to become a more positive person without losing your sense of compassion for others? And I mean true compassion where you really try to understand the negative places that a person and their feelings are coming from without immediately trying to change their views or force them to be positive.

This is one of the things that keeps me from jumping with both feet into the whole "law of attraction" and "you get what your mind focuses on" philosophy.

I just don't see that. Most people are where they are due to the socioeconomic conditions of their family members for generations. People can change those conditions but the amount of work and, even more importantly, the mindset change that it takes to overcome those conditions are absolutely extraordinary and they can't be whittle down to "you become what you think about." This doesn't even include the people of all socioeconomic conditions who are hit with random, horrible and negative events.

I just feel there's already so little compassion in this world for people who are hurting for a variety of reasons that they didn't ask for.

Yet I want to be positive. I want to see meaning in this world for myself. I want to see parenthood in a positive life.

I look at certain people who just seem to have so much motivation to get things done and I wonder where it comes from. I just don't have it. I can think of things I would be interested in doing but they all seem to take so much effort to get somewhere meaningful. Which I think is okay if you enjoy "effort" part but I don't. Soooo I'm not sure what to do. And I can't remain still because I'm not in the position to do that and survive in this world.

I wonder where I can get this motivation since I wasn't born with it. (I honestly believe there are people who were born very motivated and more intelligent than average and those are the people who escape levels of ridiculous poverty to become ridiculously wealthy. It goes so much farther than  hard work.)

Maybe I'll even make this blog an accountability partner in terms of motivation.

Stay tuned.

When the door is so wide open...

This photo is so relevant to me right now. I still don't have the motivation level that I would like to have but I am making definite steps moving myself out of my current unhappy life situation into a much happier one. I am so grateful for my sweetheart who has been supporting and encouraging me in all of this. I won't even say that I wish I had done all of this earlier because I am so happy that I am doing it now.

I still don't have an overly positive view of life but I am becoming more content with life and my position it. Especially as I move towards creating the life I want. After months of mental self-flagellation I have forgiven myself for a huge mistake I made earlier last year. I made a mistake but I am not that mistake and that mistake has given me a much more compassionate and less judgmental view on human shortcomings.

The next time I write here I plan to be in a new job, have quit nursing school, and be living with my love.

light and love

Sashay

It's been awhile.

Again.

I'm just in a wonderful mood today and truly feel like saying "la di da la la"

After hating it, I'm settling into nursing school and looking forward to the opportunities that graduation in a year will afford me.

I also decided today that I will attend an alumni event next week even though it's far from where I live and it takes place the afternoon before I have a test and a check off. I could use that as an excuse to not go but I've been using too many excuses and that's why haven't done any socializing in months. I love keeping in touch with my college friends but I also need to have flesh and blood friends that I can socialize and hang out with.

I'm looking forward to dressing up and doing my hair for the alumni event and I've been very inspired by these looks by Song of Style:





I plan to wear a dress but I adore these looks. The femininity, the edge, and the accessories.

Not sure there's much more to say. Just that I'm still working on a way I can make and save more money while I am in school.

I won't allow a 5 day full time school schedule, working Sat and Sun, and little money stop me from enjoying life. I'll do it all and save enough for a Latin American adventure late summer next year. Promise.

Am I Allergic to My Job?

I've been having some issues lately with my feelings going up and down and it was absolutely horrible on Wednesday. Once I got home from work I really had to take time to center myself and calm down. Originally I thought my bad feelings at work were coming from some personal issues I've been having but my experience yesterday said differently. I woke up in good shape and felt good as I went through my morning ritual and just generally got ready for the day and for work, I noticed that my mood started to dip and only went lower and lower as I got closer and closer to going to work.

By the time I was in the parking lot of my job I  had to make it a point to keep myself positive and upbeat.

This was such a reminder how much environment affects our mood. I've never been to one, but I imagine that a soothing environment is part of what makes a spa so calming and comforting.

All of that to say I was able to visibly lift my mood while at work even though I couldn't control my environment. I created an oasis in my desert of a work environment.  We have more control over ourselves and our feelings than we know.

It's been awhile...

Life has been interesting since the last time I've posted. My focus on the positive in life is improving although I know one area I need to work on is my relationship with my mother.

I've been reading a lot and focusing on my goals.

I was just offered a new job yesterday and I start nursing school in less than a month.

I get to visit my sweetheart in about 3 weeks and I was able to find a ticket for a very good price.

Even though life has still been throwing obstacles my way, I am generally content during my days for the following reasons:

1. I put a lot of my focus towards what I desire and I know that I will achieve it all someday. I wrote a page on what I want my life to look like the type of life I will be living in just a few short years. I read it every morning as part of my positive morning ritual and I often read it at selected moments throughout the day: during break at work, etc.

2. I have an awesome brother to talk to and we freely share our feelings on everything. He helps me keep things in perspective while not downplaying my views or feelings and I do the same for him. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful brother.

3. I have been reading a lot of books on the power of thought on our lives. I downloaded most of the free ebooks from this site and have been reading them on my Kindle. I can't say that I agree with everything I read but I'm keeping an open mind because I know that my current way of thinking isn't working for me.

4. I have also been engaging in a lot of self-care. Reading magazines that inspire and uplift both sides of my brain; I have subscriptions to  O the Oprah Magazine and Inc., Magazine. I've started painting my nails regularly again. Right now I'm wearing a beautiful, bright yellow that brings a smile to my face whenever I glance down at my hands. I'm also looking for a way to keep my hair both low-maintenance and stylish.

5. I've been jogging every weekday morning.

There's lots more that I want to share but I think it's better if I save little for later. I think 2 blog posts per week is an achievable goal for this site. I'm itching to share my positive morning routine and (possibly) the page I have written about my future.

thanks for reading

light and love